Lynn Jones: Good listeners are hard to find
By Lynn Jones
Bob and Ray were a comedy team whose skits often centered around one of them not listening. Their conversation would go like this: Bob, “Hi, I’m Sam Peterson from Omaha.” Ray, “Great to meet you. What’s your name?” Bob, “I’m Sam Peterson.” Ray, “Oh, yes, where are you from?” Bob, “Originally from Omaha, but about 10 years ago moved to Southern California.” Ray, “Oh, is that so? How long have you been here in Southern California?” We laugh at that, but sometimes we’re like Ray. We do not listen very well when we are having a conversation with someone. One of the reasons for that is that we are often more interested in looking for an opening in which to say something, than we are in listening to what is being said by the other person.
In the book of the Bible that bears his name, James said that we should be “swift to hear, slow to speak” (James 1:19). We often reverse that instruction in our interactions with others. We are swift to speak and slow to hear.
In 1973, Congress enacted the “Endangered Species Act.” This act is designed to protect any species that is deemed endangered. I think that we should add a species to the endangered list. It is the “Listener Americanus.” This species has never been very large in number and is extremely endangered today.
You can spot this species by looking for the following identifying marks: 1) Had rather listen to your troubles than tell you about theirs. 2) Seems always to have time for you. 3) Is understanding and sympathetic to your hurts. 4) Is short on simple solutions to complex problems. 5) Seems to help you greatly although you cannot remember a lot of specific advice that the person gave you.
You may go for several weeks without spotting a member of “Listener Americanus.” Because of the scarcity of this species, I would like to enlist your help in its preservation. In fact, I would like to ask you to consider becoming a part of the species.
If you are interested in becoming a better listener, here’s what I would suggest: 1) Be prepared to practice the skills that are necessary. It is not as easy as it sounds. 2)Practice patience. You will have to listen to a lot of things that are not inherently interesting. 3) Cultivate sensitivity. Listen not only to what is being said but to what is not being said. 4) Pray for God’s kind of love. This combats selfishness and self-centeredness that cause us not to want to listen to someone else. God’s love helps us put ourselves in another person’s shoes.
The writer of Ecclesiastes said that there is “a time to keep silence, and a time to speak” (Ecc. 3:7). Pray that God will help us do one as well as the other.
Lynn Jones is a retired pastor who lives in Oxford. He does supply preaching for churches in his area and often serves as an interim pastor. Jones is also an author, has written two books and writes a weekly newspaper column. He may be contacted at: kljones45@yahoo.com.
